I'm noticing that I'm not making the healthiest choices, and, of course, that will have ripple effects on my family; both in the impact on them, and in the choices they themselves make. It's been a while since I've done a life inquiry & mapping, maybe almost 20 years, and I've been feeling the time has come. As I reflected, I noticed that very often I am coming up with home-brewed solutions to issues that are not the problem. Read that last statement carefully; it's important to understand that the home-brew aspect relates to my tendency to go-it-alone, and the issues-not-the-problem aspect relates to my tendency toward ponderousness. My next life map sketch must anticipate and address these tendencies to be profitable in the next 20 years.
I'm expecting this endeavor will take some time and effort. So, I've begun from a kind of high level, first outlining the big categories that apply for everyone. In doing so, I've bolded the categories that potentially have a problem in them.
Health
Wealth
Marriage
Child
Family
God
I listed these as they came to me, and it's important that I be transparent about that because I believe that in itself reveals major insight. Below I will identify the chief problem that arises in each category to see what next.
Health - I smoke, I drink, my blood pressure and cholesterol are high. I have concerning emergences that I worry are from underlying issues: my sleepy and sensitive big toe, stones in kidneys and blood in pee, hot ears when drinking and smoking. Some of these manifestations would occur even in healthy individuals, but the recurrence with which I experience them is the concern. I am not healthy, really. I don't get enough sleep, I push myself too hard, and I avoid making changes until a later time.
Wealth - I didn't identify this as an issue, but there may come a time soon when I need to quicken the pace of establishing income and quality of life systems for when Jessie and I can't work anymore.
Marriage - Not identified as an issue, but there are areas Jess and I can grow. The next area to work toward for me is zero negativity, as described by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelley Hunt. Jess and I both have Getting the Love You Want, as one of our chief texts for healthy ways of working toward a stronger marriage. When I come from a ZN place, I know Jess feels it and appreciates. Last night, I tried to put ZN in practice as we sat by the fire and we made out for probably the first time in a decade. That's an important precedent coincident with this implementation. Finding the source of my negativity and what to do with, are going to be critical to keep it up.
Child - Simply put, Jess and I worry about our child, Sadie Ann. She's growing up in an age that is seemingly more and more amoral and flooded with consumerism. I'd like to start taking steps to instill in her moral productivism, the idea of doing the most good with our efforts; as opposed to taking it all in. I think the metaphorical imagery I have exhibited in the bodies of my daughter and I are our hunch. Identified by my wife as a thing, it's probably come time to address.
Family - I include in this category Friends, I should say for starters. Family, friends, colleagues, neighbors... these are all part of a unit of care and camaraderie. The question for me here is "am I holding up my end of the bargain?" My family, in the broader sense, has given me identity, care, and baggage. Certainly, the equation has positives and negatives, but, on a grand scale, it is balanced; at an equilibrium. There are things that tip the scale, like love and greed, which reminds us that it's a growth equation where we grow more of what we want.
God - Which brings me to God. This is a tough one for me right now, because I've never felt this category to be more of an unknown to me than it is right now. What is the extent and the quality of the love I say I have an affinity for? I think on this much I concede at the moment; that God is Love, and Love is the great counterweight to our ills, and the Great Cosmic Plumbline when we are visionary. But where the rubber meets the road is not in the grandest of ideations, it's in the day-to-day application in everyday life. What does the Great Cosmic Plumbline mean for paying bills and family life? How does God tip our scales toward healthy choices (balancing evil) until He possesses us completely with being Love in the world?
Mind. Body. Spirit.
Thinking Fast and Slow.
At first glance, I thought the listing of categories was an inversion... surely God (Love) should have been first. But I am human, and we work from the outside in. I'm reminded of this when I recall the framework: Mind. Body. Spirit. Although, to my point, I'd write it Body, Mind, Spirit. We see what's right in front of us, that is our first engagement. And we consider. And we work these seeings, doings, and considerings into our being. The manner in which we work these things out... and in, is important. Which brings me to my final framework; that of Daniel Kahneman, Thinking Fast and Slow.
Thinking fast refers to efficiencies of thought. The systems we erect and fortify are done so so that we do not need to think scrupulously about every action. There are certain equations in life that are 1+1=2. However, there are algorithms also. These must be considered slowly. Their runway has to be long and therefore we have to consider how to arrive at the terminus, meaning planning. These become the systems of simple equations we can rely on as 1+1=2. There are many ways to convey this complexity to simplicity; two I offer are the complexity of AI resultant from a binary gating mechanism, and the variety of life contingent on 2 base pairs (A-T, G-C).
Such magnificent complexity procures so much capacity for tweaking. And there are offshoot endpoints within the framework. So, the world can be poor, but individuals within the framework can be rich. Can we all be rich beyond measure? Is that the reason for God?
Bringing it Home
This brings me to my final point about practices. Within the framework of human thought there are efficiencies and possibilities. The efficient practices, those known to be tried and true, should be relied upon. But not to be neglected is exploration. Without exploration there is no possibility of growth, which is itself a basic framework for the human condition, and maybe for all life. Organisms grow, and when they are done growing, they grow more in the form of their corporations. Success is flourishing. But note that flourishing is contingent on the health of the overall system. Even a virus must mitigate its effectiveness so as not to kill its host to quickly such that it can persist. Failure is not persisting.
The level at which we consider persisting is the level we are willing to exchange death for life. If I'm ok that my family is ok, no matter the cost elsewhere, the price elsewhere could be exceedingly high. If I can inhabit a growth mindset, then I stay awake to the possibility that there is a better game to play; not zero sum, but win win.
Staying awake is key. In everyday application I should be tweaking toward utopia.
