On the (de)Evolution of Man

Recently, I've been thinking a bunch about where I put my energies and capacity. At work, I basically give it "all I've got", but at home, "there's a lot to be desired". The world of work can be pretty spelled out... it's much easier to assign a program of productivity and success. But at home, where the outcomes realm is much more squishy, it's easy to cash it in; to rely on the interest on capital. Work capital and home capital are not all that different, and so I've really got to consider building the one, and drawing on the other. 

To that end, my focus is shifting more toward building life at home. But it's been tough, basically, because I'm a speed economy kind of guy. I play work and home wealth building very similarly... by using a get rich quick scheme. And that seems to have worked at work, but at home, where the evaluation of real wealth is truer and much harder to fake, I'm like the rich guy in trouble. I'm still walking around and purchasing like I'm a million bucks, but the asset liability ledger tells a different story. 

This morning, I made a different kind of ledger. It's got a listing of the important life stuff (wife and kid, family, friends, interests) and assigns a frequency metric (ex. 1x / wk, 3x / wk). Nothing radical, but basically a schedule for making deposits. Accumulating capital. 

Decades ago at Brooklyn College while working on my Ed masters we reviewed an article on human capital. It didn't read like my few paragraphs above, but it did espouse a relationship economy. A part of me hates that I'm at this place where the language that makes the most sense to me is the language of capitalism, but I have to be where I am, and take it from there. 

Once upon a time, I think I might have flipped contrasting scripts: I might have sought to understand the world of economics through the lens of relationships. In fact, that's how economics was born. Somewhere along the way, you realize the tail is wagging the dog, or you hope you realize that. And so you seek to walk on all fours until you can stand on your own two feet. 

David Brooks spoke of Andre Agassi's Autobiography being really compelling to him. I gave the opening a listen and found a really compelling quote by Van Gogh, sort of the way out of ourselves...

“One cannot always tell what it is that keeps us shut in, confines us, seems to bury us, but still one feels certain barriers, certain gates, certain walls. Is all this imagination, fantasy? I do not think so. And then one asks: My God! Is it for long, is it for ever, is it for eternity? Do you know what frees one from this captivity? It is very deep serious affection. Being friends, being brothers, love, that is what opens the prison by supreme power, by some magic force. —Vincent van Gogh, letter to his brother, July 1880”

― Andre Agassi, Open

https://www.webexhibits.org/vangogh/letter/8/133.h

Being Alive for the First and Only Time

(not Jason Reynolds)

This post is inspired by Jason Reynolds, author of The Long Way Down. I don't quite get how the book is related to the concept (I'll have to investigate), but I heard Reynolds say that the fact that we are on this journey as humans for the first time gives us great humility and grace for others ("oh, you're here for the first time just like me"). It's a concept that hit me as profound. And, as I think of it, small leanings lend to inimitable tidings. We are all biased in many ways, and it turns out, that's who we are. 

But the basis of our leanings is a big story! Of course, the outcomes of our leanings is a HUGE story, but maybe TOO big for a Sunday morning post when I've just taken a gunja toke. Back to the basis...

We all have expectations. These stem from our leanings. Which stem from our perceptions about successful ventures. Which are themselves derived from experience and our innate self. Experience. And our innate self. Man. 

Experience tells me whether my leanings are sure things or long shots. My expectations mediate my desires. My expectations also transcend my desires. When push comes to shove I am to lean into my expectations and hope for my desires. If we come to expect what we desire, well, that's a powerful thing. That's the stuff of The Secret. Shhh. 

But seriously. How we decide on things is truly a remarkable thing. AI uses leaning as a framework... and it works. The premise, in fact, will surpass us... SOON! So we better get on with learning how we need to be in such a world as a categorical number 2. For starters, we have to let each other LIVE! I mean that in many senses. Sure, perhaps, people who kill people should die (or perhaps not, right?), but, for the most part, we should do our damn best to help each other live. I know that I like being alive. However, not that some don't like to be alive, but because of their learning and disposition, they are poisoned. In fact, we are all poisoned to an extent. And it causes us to be self-destructive. Which causes outer destruction and turmoil. That is being human. We are capable of both wielding and wetting ourselves. Worse than wetting, we may, from time to time, pee in someone's face. 

It behooves us to live healthy lives. The better we can do that, in every sense, the better we will see clear eyed and best leverage experience and our gut. That's one thing, to be our best. But another is to consider others. And these two things: self and other are inextricably connected. What I'm trying to think through is how we can include all humans in the equation. Because, on the whole, we humans are dogmatically practical, we easily exclude people if it leads to a better outcome for us. It's downright common sense. And it's the thing that Jesus outstandingly refuted. 

And in my mind, that's the idea that has made us most unique and powerful. Benefitting more and more people has become a rallying cry for many in the world! I. Wish. :(

It's breathtaking and sad, Jesus' life. He really came up against it... this common sense about the way to live. It took everything he had, and it killed him. Sure, he is worshipped. But is he revered?!

A long think in a shortcut world. I need more of these. I can see how fragmentary my thinking has become in this bit-sized world. What Jesus said and did mattered. Who he was mattered. It changed us forever. His life became a world-sized contingency. A basis for everything that happens. And there are things like that. Big huge things that have happened that organize reality. When we experience them they become a par to us. And this Jesus thing was just a fundamental shift we have to really give it a good long think. Why ALL OF US?! Let me ask it from another way. Who among is expendable? But it's been said who knows how many times, to er is human!

So that's the rub. We have incredible collective potential, but we are prone to error (and prowess by the way) and we are of limited (and slanted) scope. All of this really is worthy of a long think. 

And if we don't get it, this long think, or big picture ideas, we are doomed. By and large, we have not been doomed, but we get closer everyday. And that's why we need grace for each other. We also need a revitalization. We need a basis for why we are alive. All of us, some of us, and me. You and I, we're not dissimilar. I don't even know who you are, but I'm confident that, given a fair shot, I can connect with you. I can. You can. We can connect with each other. And when we do we are enlarged. Right? That's common sense. So, why not all of us? 

But we really have to start from the sticky question of: why all of us? It's a tough one. But right down under it, it's because I see in you, something in me, and I want to live. I would hope you do, too. And if we can do that for each other, make living more desirable and hopeful, make our expectations be those things, bright and teeming with prospect, existence becomes filled with abundant life. What a way to live!

I can see so many of these spiritual benefits coming from a narrow scope. In fact, they have to. I can't think of everyone, it's not possible for me. First off, I don't know everyone. I only know who I know, and have experienced what I've experienced. These narrow experiences in the context of reality are my basis for everything I think, say, and do. Jesus, knowing this, gave us a framework for considering everyone. He, and Mr. Rogers, called everyone your neighbor.

At the end of the day, there is no practical reason I can think of for trying to make things as good as possible for all of us. But, man! wouldn't that be something?

The Extant Life: The Utopic Contingency

I'm noticing that I'm not making the healthiest choices, and, of course, that will have ripple effects on my family; both in the impact on them, and in the choices they themselves make. It's been a while since I've done a life inquiry & mapping, maybe almost 20 years, and I've been feeling the time has come. As I reflected, I noticed that very often I am coming up with home-brewed solutions to issues that are not the problem. Read that last statement carefully; it's important to understand that the home-brew aspect relates to my tendency to go-it-alone, and the issues-not-the-problem aspect relates to my tendency toward ponderousness. My next life map sketch must anticipate and address these tendencies to be profitable in the next 20 years. 

I'm expecting this endeavor will take some time and effort. So, I've begun from a kind of high level, first outlining the big categories that apply for everyone. In doing so, I've bolded the categories that potentially have a problem in them. 

Health

Wealth

Marriage

Child

Family

God

I listed these as they came to me, and it's important that I be transparent about that because I believe that in itself reveals major insight. Below I will identify the chief problem that arises in each category to see what next.

Health - I smoke, I drink, my blood pressure and cholesterol are high. I have concerning emergences that I worry are from underlying issues: my sleepy and sensitive big toe, stones in kidneys and blood in pee, hot ears when drinking and smoking. Some of these manifestations would occur even in healthy individuals, but the recurrence with which I experience them is the concern. I am not healthy, really. I don't get enough sleep, I push myself too hard, and I avoid making changes until a later time. 

Wealth - I didn't identify this as an issue, but there may come a time soon when I need to quicken the pace of establishing income and quality of life systems for when Jessie and I can't work anymore.  

Marriage - Not identified as an issue, but there are areas Jess and I can grow. The next area to work toward for me is zero negativity, as described by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelley Hunt. Jess and I both have Getting the Love You Want, as one of our chief texts for healthy ways of working toward a stronger marriage. When I come from a ZN place, I know Jess feels it and appreciates. Last night, I tried to put ZN in practice as we sat by the fire and we made out for probably the first time in a decade. That's an important precedent coincident with this implementation. Finding the source of my negativity and what to do with, are going to be critical to keep it up. 

Child - Simply put, Jess and I worry about our child, Sadie Ann. She's growing up in an age that is seemingly more and more amoral and flooded with consumerism. I'd like to start taking steps to instill in her moral productivism, the idea of doing the most good with our efforts; as opposed to taking it all in. I think the metaphorical imagery I have exhibited in the bodies of my daughter and I are our hunch. Identified by my wife as a thing, it's probably come time to address.

Family - I include in this category Friends, I should say for starters. Family, friends, colleagues, neighbors... these are all part of a unit of care and camaraderie. The question for me here is "am I holding up my end of the bargain?" My family, in the broader sense, has given me identity, care, and baggage. Certainly, the equation has positives and negatives, but, on a grand scale, it is balanced; at an equilibrium. There are things that tip the scale, like love and greed, which reminds us that it's a growth equation where we grow more of what we want. 

God - Which brings me to God. This is a tough one for me right now, because I've never felt this category to be more of an unknown to me than it is right now. What is the extent and the quality of the love I say I have an affinity for? I think on this much I concede at the moment; that God is Love, and Love is the great counterweight to our ills, and the Great Cosmic Plumbline when we are visionary. But where the rubber meets the road is not in the grandest of ideations, it's in the day-to-day application in everyday life. What does the Great Cosmic Plumbline mean for paying bills and family life? How does God tip our scales toward healthy choices (balancing evil) until He possesses us completely with being Love in the world? 

Mind. Body. Spirit. 

Thinking Fast and Slow.

At first glance, I thought the listing of categories was an inversion... surely God (Love) should have been first. But I am human, and we work from the outside in. I'm reminded of this when I recall the framework: Mind. Body. Spirit. Although, to my point, I'd write it Body, Mind, Spirit. We see what's right in front of us, that is our first engagement. And we consider. And we work these seeings, doings, and considerings into our being. The manner in which we work these things out... and in, is important. Which brings me to my final framework; that of Daniel Kahneman, Thinking Fast and Slow.

Thinking fast refers to efficiencies of thought. The systems we erect and fortify are done so so that we do not need to think scrupulously about every action. There are certain equations in life that are 1+1=2. However, there are algorithms also. These must be considered slowly. Their runway has to be long and therefore we have to consider how to arrive at the terminus, meaning planning. These become the systems of simple equations we can rely on as 1+1=2. There are many ways to convey this complexity to simplicity; two I offer are the complexity of AI resultant from a binary gating mechanism, and the variety of life contingent on 2 base pairs (A-T, G-C). 

Such magnificent complexity procures so much capacity for tweaking. And there are offshoot endpoints within the framework. So, the world can be poor, but individuals within the framework can be rich. Can we all be rich beyond measure? Is that the reason for God? 

Bringing it Home

This brings me to my final point about practices. Within the framework of human thought there are efficiencies and possibilities. The efficient practices, those known to be tried and true, should be relied upon. But not to be neglected is exploration. Without exploration there is no possibility of growth, which is itself a basic framework for the human condition, and maybe for all life. Organisms grow, and when they are done growing, they grow more in the form of their corporations. Success is flourishing. But note that flourishing is contingent on the health of the overall system. Even a virus must mitigate its effectiveness so as not to kill its host to quickly such that it can persist. Failure is not persisting. 

The level at which we consider persisting is the level we are willing to exchange death for life. If I'm ok that my family is ok, no matter the cost elsewhere, the price elsewhere could be exceedingly high. If I can inhabit a growth mindset, then I stay awake to the possibility that there is a better game to play; not zero sum, but win win. 

Staying awake is key. In everyday application I should be tweaking toward utopia.  

Inspired Larrikinism

The condition for a miracle is difficulty, however the condition for a great miracle is not difficulty, but impossibility. ~Angus Buchan

Usually when you are searching for something, you find it. That's faith speaking! What I've been searching for recently is a disposition. Something that speaks to what I celebrate in unruliness, or even rebelliousness, that is settled on having a reason for such misbehavior. I found a term capturing this sentiment: larrikin. 

Since the days of attending Australian church-plants in the City, I've come to appreciate the unassuming way that Australians do Christianity. The Faith Like Potatoes movie can also be cited as some inspiration in my understanding of the Aussie-style Christian faith. And so now I aspire to connect with a simpler, rowdier me that is wild about Jesus and cross and not so concerned with rules, regulations, and the right way of doing things.

I sense a stirring of the pot going this way, as we may have gotten too accustomed to being calculating. It makes sense to think of life this way the older we get in the information age. Is it not irresponsible to do things dumbly when we have so much access to proper methodologies? But then what of faith? What of miracles? What of Jesus NOW?!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larrikin

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faith_like_Potatoes

Complain With People, Not For People

This morning I rose with the thought implanted by Brooks, "do things with people, not for". As I searched that idea, I wasn't quite getting what I was looking for. I was getting articles about being a people pleaser, or why people don't support you, or when you don't feel interested in people. I was looking more for this idea about building something together. The web, being as self-helpy as it is, could not catch what I was meaning with the ambiguosness of prepositions. But I did get on a path that seemed meaningful, starting with Harold Kushner, author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People:

Do things for people not because of who they are or what they do in return, but because of who you are.

Simple enough. Not because someone else deserves it, per say, but because you are the kind of person that does good in the world. But it still had that "for" idea that I was looking to avoid. Doing things "for" people presumes that you know what they need, and maybe even that they are waiting for you to do it. Not always the case. I find a lot of the things I am doing for people, they have no idea I am considering and when it comes there way, it may be a nice additive, but not an essential piece of what they feel they need. So these things I am really doing for me. 

Changing the focus to doing things with people will help my doing fors materialize as a lot more meaningful. Build something together.

Interestingly, I'll have to come back to some of these ideas, because the second half of the morning venture found me searching articles about complaining. Harvard Business Review and Maya Angelou say don't do it. William F. Buckley says complain. I see his point. We've become kind of docile, but I tend to side with HBR and Angelou. We don't need to complain as much as see what needs to change; and head into some kind of action. 

To Buckley's point, though, action seems pitiful. The juggernaut of reality is so big, what are my little actions going to do? Well, I'm not quite sure, but I know I cannot stand by and do nothing, so I've got to do something. 

But what?

• https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/835156-do-things-for-people-not-because-of-who-they-are
• https://dailystoic.com/a-stoic-response-to-complaining/
• https://www.sanjuan.edu/cms/lib8/CA01902727/Centricity/Domain/218/Complain%20by%20William%20Buckley.pdf
• https://kensho.life/weekly-happiness-booster/moan-less-complain-better
• https://hbr.org/2021/04/managing-a-chronic-complainer
• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/moments-matter/201803/complaining

Life and Other Subsidies

 "The purpose of the economy is to promote human flourishing" 

Joan Tronto, quoted in The Stolen Year, by Anya Kamenetz

I've been looking for a theorist that "flipped the script" on the economy; our purpose is not to use human flourishing to promote the economy, but the other way around. I found an unlikely hero in Joan Tronto. I should not be surprised. Where else would a theory of care (true care... caring for rather than about) come from other than a Marxist feminist woman? And it's interesting to consider the contrast of a man's version of care, as put out in something like the Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance; a care for things (the objects of a man's affections) rather than people. I'm certain that there is a lot to unpack in the contrast of care between men and women. 

Considering the economy, though, there are so many unnecessities that we take for granted; essential. We have become enslaved to the economy to the extent that our flourishing costs at least 100k in the US, when, by contrast, it costs a wild plant or animal very little to survive on our vital earth. We know that the future must take into consideration energy efficiency in the pursuit of caring for mankind, the spitting image of God. Ah, but that's just it! In our modern economy, what is our real value?

Until we bodily come to the revelation that our ultimate goal is not pushing forward the flourishing of modern life, but rather the flourishing of life, period, we will not become revisionist with our economy. I'm not sure what it would take, but I have my fears.

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